Plastic Watches

Yeah.. The two parts being almost a fortnight apart will take a lot of steam off, but then, what has been started is better off finished.

Okay.. now coming back to it...

There are basically two types of people of who dont work here:

Type I:

There people are born old, laid back, and have no ambition in life whatsoever.

They want to have tea at 11:00am everyday, They want tea at 12:00 Noon, they want to have an hour long lunch break starting at 1:00pm and Ending at 3:00pm, and they want Tea at 4:00pm and they want to leave at 5:00pm and they want a modest salary credit to their account at the end of the month and they want to be bossed by people who have taken voluntary retirement from bank jobs because they werer too taxing on the psyche.

Then Come the Type II guys:

These guys are infact ladies, who absoultely get bored at home by watching soaps dished out by Ekta Kapoor and our dear old Telugu channels and are look out for some real gossip and making substantial money in the process - they invariably land up here, gossip, have endless cups of tea, have lunch hour that lasts two and have a salary credited to their account at the end of the month

now, Type III: (they guys who work. Well, sometimes)

This is acutally the place to be for the Type III people. They dont care two hoots for the job, and even lesser about the bosses and the so called office decorum and the people who Orkut and Blog from office and people who worry about meeting lines which are dead. These people are here, for some and entertainment from the other types of people and also get some work done in the process - the typical ass depression of these people in the office seats averages from 6 months to 12 months in depth. They are here to make some easy money while looking out for better opportunities or making it out on their own.

The percentage of Type III peole varies from 30% to 50% at any given time, and the noice levels generated by these people are in the Range of 99 - 100% and they account for about 80% of the office expenses in terms of salaries.

While the Type I and Type II people have all the time in their lives to get things done, and keep procastinating - type three people are more concerned about experience certificates and hence are the only people who get the 20% of work done to claim 80%..

No need to say. Pareto is our definition of God.

80% of the Work gets done in 20% of the time and 20% of the relaxation gets done in 80% of the time...

# posted by Bluefreak : Thursday, November 18, 2004  5 comments

Now that I have finally decided to quit, I thought I might as well rant about what my office is all about. One of the infinite problems with the office is that they are misers when it comes to pay. Either you have a good bargaining power, or you end up being paid 30% less than the average industry scales. If you bargain well, you will get paid at least 30% more than the industry standards. But the problem is that people are not confident enough to bargain.

So, these dudes finally end up with people whom they really don’t need and these people get to do to the work they don’t want to. So whenever there is a project, it starts of with two things – the high anticipation of the bosses and the low morale of the researchers. (The team leaders get jacked in the process)

Finally the output is the point between the bosses’ high anticipation and the laziness of the researchers. So, out comes a text book, which neither satisfies the guys at the top nor makes the researchers happy, but all in all, it is the version of the textbook, which meets the deadlines.

This half-baked, shabbily edited and copy-pasted from the net version of the text book, is force fed to the students, who are again left miles away from the point of satisfaction.

The following are the un-laid rules while concocting a textbook:

1.You must refer to all the ‘international’ textbooks pertaining to the subject, that you can lay your hands on or atleast appear to do so, by having huge hardcover books lying open on your desk.

2.You must frantically browse thru the net or appear to do so, by opening some pages related to the subject and having your mail account/ blog / bollywood sites/ Orkut/any other sites on another tab.

3.You must not copy paste anything or even rephrase anything that has appeared anywhere or atleast be able to convince them that you haven’t

4.You must not be original. It might cost you your job(Which is what people strive to do and fail miserably.), or worse, you might be asked to redo the whole thing. (which means, you go back to point 1)

To be continued later…

# posted by Bluefreak : Friday, November 05, 2004  2 comments